The Light Within

This morning I had some interesting and much-needed experiences while meditating. I had woken up on the wrong side of bed, and with my oldest child being ill, I wasn’t feeling well either, physically or emotionally. I have been in a process that among many things is spiritual, psychological, and a period of healing and expanding my consciousness. It is what has guided me to want to pursue transpersonal psychology because it basically in essence defines what I have been experiencing with my guides. I had a desire to explore everything in the universe to better understand and connect spiritually, to explore and learn from my own life experiences and myself, as I have been through quite a lot already. Both in the physical world and metaphysical, so to speak.

When I meditate, I relax and allow myself to naturally reconnect with my inner self and my guides, I don’t force anything at all. I don’t try to clear my mind or thoughts, but I relax and just open my mind to see what comes through, without judgement or expectation, and I receive the messages that help me become aware and guide me where I am right now. I will often perceive images or blurbs in a sense, like clips of either the past or near future, or imaginative creations that carry meaning. These can come while consciously awake, or as I slip into a trance-like sleep-like state where they play out, and I awake back to conscious immediately following the clip or message to carry it conscious awareness. I carry with me the intent to learn and explore, and find meaning in everything, and doing so opens me up to receiving the information I need.

Everything we need is freely accessible to us, from the universe and from within ourselves, as it truly is one. For myself, the learning and the information I seek can come from the light and power within, as I explore through mediation and conscious awareness. We all carry this inner power as we are all connected to this all-knowing light, and we can trust ourselves as much as we can trust learning from the world around us. I learned I can trust what comes internally, as I see it synchronize and play out in my world on all levels, and internal as much as external (through experiences and interactions with others). I have been trying to connect these inner and outer worlds that sometimes feel separate, to know that they are one.

Lately, I have been operating mostly in the mental realm or aspect of being. I have always been like a scientist, wanting to learn the building blocks of the world, how things happen on a micro to macro level. This plays into my spiritual experiences, I can see how our guides work with us exactly where we are, and with who we are… and who and what we are is inherently good, so we can embrace all aspects of ourselves. So for me, I receive pieces of information from everywhere in my universe, such as thoughts, dreams and meditation, interactions with others, experiences and from any source really… the sessions with Panache Desai in the morning to what my kids watch on TV. Sometimes these experiences can be difficult, as personal parts of my being or life are being uncovered, but it always happens with amazing synchronicity across all platforms and like a good mystery novel, all these pieces of information come together to bring meaning. Meaning to what I need to learn or what I am exploring. Like pieces of a puzzle, they come in and I have fun putting them together, with a lot of guidance and trust, which I am still building for myself and the universe. Allow the truth to be revealed as life becomes a living mediation.

For example, I went into this trance-like state and a clip played out that was back in the times of Jesus. I was seated at a table with Jesus and other people, it was like a gathering of disciples but others as well, and there was a man standing by the table dressed in a way I knew he was in some position of authority. Over his chest, he wore a checker, block-like pattern (my mother identified as likely an Essene). He was basically putting on a show, so to speak, to try to impress Jesus, but was being flamboyant and even foolish in trying to show off to get his attention, more and more so as Jesus paid no attention to this whatsoever and continued to speak softly to the others at the table. He didn’t give appraisal nor reprimand. I am brought back to this message as it carries meaning for me. It brings awareness to myself, for much of my life I was overly concerned with people pleasing, trying to meet the expectations of others. I needed the approval or confirmation from others in order to feel good about myself. I realize God loves us just as we are, we do not need to try to be someone or something to get his approval or attention, we are unconditionally loved just being out authentic selves, without trying to force an act or play a role for him, just be ourselves… and forgive ourselves for everything we have done because God does not carry judgement or punish, we only do that to ourselves. I have done enough that most would consider sinful and wouldn’t deserve God’s appraisal or love, and I had felt this way until I realized the reality of the universe and let that idea go. It helped me shift my awareness to how I have been unconditionally loved and cared for by the universe, no matter what.

What helps for me is being open to receiving, putting my intentions into the universe and knowing we are connected to an amazing infinite universe that is supporting us constantly, whether or not we realize it. I stay connected to this, and I explore and uncover the meaning behind these experiences and pieces of information I am given. It is something we can all do, and life can become this fun magical universe full of infinite possibilities.