The Light Within

What comes from increasing awareness and opening the mind can be amazing sometimes, to see how the universe can work with us to learn and grow and support us no matter who or where we are, just by being receptive to it. This awareness gives me the opportunity to see beyond what past perceptions would allow, and it supports learning and greater understanding about myself and the universe.

Recently, I was able to see where I had confined myself by my belief system, and it wasn’t that it was wrong, it just wasn’t the whole truth. In the beginning, it was difficult being open to learning something entirely new because of fears that a whole lifetime philosophy that I had built would be overturned. What is everything I had been taught about the universe wasn’t true? However, the specific life lessons we experience are for a reason, and what they taught was indeed true, but I could no longer solidify them as solid, unwavering facts that were complete and then live by those facts. They are more fluid, changing and expanding with time if we allow ourselves to acquire new information. To be receptive and willing to learning something entirely new, while questioning our past assumptions and teachings to incorporate greater truth, can bring about great changes in life. We as people can get very stuck in our beliefs and in one way of thinking, the key is to be open-minded.

Last night I was outside and walked right up to an owl, it was my first time observing one in the wild, and this was close up. For me, owls meant wisdom, and my dream books elaborate on this meaning to include knowledge, insight, mystery, and magic, which correspond well with my current reality, as can see in previous posts. Looking at the universe and life like a mystery to be solved, watching truths unfold as I explore all these clues that come from within my being to everywhere in my world, like pieces of knowledge that build upon each other over time with greater understanding and develop whatever knowledge I have been looking for. Seeing the universe as this infinite power and wisdom and bliss that we are all part of and can thus experience ourselves in our lives; staying open-minded and aware, reading the signs, and connecting with this inner light and power that is the same as that of the infinite universe (we are all the same light).

I realized I can relax in one area in which I’ve been trying to “get rid of” old ideas, concepts, or perceptions that no longer serve or help me. When it comes to certain concepts such as judgements and ego, I had been seeing these as blockages or that which was holding me back. I realize these concepts are there for a reason, and I don’t need to change myself in impossible ways or set impossible standards for myself. We are exactly the way we are for a reason, and what I knew before was just as true as the new information I am trying to assimilate now. I can hold multiple truths, even the past constructs of mind served a purpose and are still true, however I can expand upon these truths, and change their initial meaning as new insight comes, instead of trying to completely let go or get rid of past ideas.

However, with awareness and an open mind, we can understand new meaning, and understand at a different level. The key word is expansion, I can move forward expanding upon the wisdom I carry, and not worry about being “wrong” in the past or getting rid of past or previous thoughts. There are multiple (or really infinite) truths in this infinite universe, and we can rest assured that the right information is always available to us exactly when we need it, in every moment. It’s easy to look back in hindsight and ask, “how did I not realize this, or know that then? or live by that truth?” We were meant to experience what we did with the understanding we had at the time, and I am open to incorporating new and greater understanding as I continue to learn. Maybe we are limited to what we know at a time so that we can have a particular experience, being open to the idea that each new experience will bring us new insight in ways we didn’t expect if we can just remain open. I was told that there is information or meaning in every moment if we just stay look, whether it be literal or symbolic.

This helped me in my need for validation of my beliefs, I don’t need to prove myself or where and when I was right or wrong. Nor do I need to point out that for others, or question the validity of their beliefs, their experiences, or their input. I open myself to learning more from others, and sharing myself with others, knowing it’s all valid and that we can share and build upon our wisdom and experiences together. It’s about sharing and working together rather than correcting and teaching each other. We are all supporting each other in our experiences in this world, no matter what role we each play.

This is also where the idea of ego came in, and fear of it holding me back. I need not worry about stripping away my ego, which I often heard, because the ego does serve an important purpose. Instead, I can change what ego means to me, as well as my self-perception. To me, it’s a sense of self, that fluctuates over time, it is fluid as I adapt and learn from my experiences and world around me. It does NOT need compare oneself with others in order to define oneself or validate oneself. Seeing it as “good” to allow it to serve me in a positive way, especially if it defines who I am!

I was never wrong in how I defined myself or my ego, but I had been focusing only on certain parts of myself or my life experiences, rather than seeing the whole truth or my whole being. I had been focusing on concepts, such as ego, that are really just constructs of the mind… not to say the concept is false but there is so much more to account for and cannot be viewed or judged singly. When looking the concept of self, there is much more than just the “ego” to be accounted for, especially when trying to describe or view the totality of our being. Our true being in its totality is something we can experience that is beyond verbal or mental description, possibly even beyond our human understanding. To try to describe ourselves spiritually, we are divine infinite beings in a universe of infinite possibilities; psychologically, we can do (or “be”) anything we set out minds to, that is the power of our beliefs. I don’t need to limit the description of myself to describing just the ego, based on certain perspectives or concepts that I learned or was taught. Panache Desai, during his Morning Meditation to Calm, mentioned yesterday that that which we are able to describe, that part of our human experience, is largely the illusion. (yet still true to our reality and perception). It’s the ego and other constructions we have built to describe and make sense of ourselves, our lives, our human existence; but this human existence and experience is beyond words, the truth of which is non-verbal, it connects us and flows through us, and we can focus in on and explore this very true part of ourselves and our lives.

I remember in the past worrying about intelligence and capability, for myself but more for my kids because of their special needs. The whole idea of IQ and intelligence in a way in which we are limited in our capacity to whatever IQ score or points we are measured is totally a construct of mind that I can more beyond. There is truth in this system, but we need not to think of it as limitation. We are given exactly what we need in life, as much intelligence on a physical level as we need to have this experience of life that we came for, and we are blessed as God takes care of everyone, no matter what. There is also truth in knowing our infinite consciousness and we can experience this as we do not confine ourselves by a belief in limited capability, nor a belief that we each lie within a range of intelligence (or IQ). There are multiple truths and as I open my mind, I can expand my consciousness starting with understanding and expanding upon my beliefs, not confining myself to certain limiting beliefs or concepts that I held onto before. I can then expand my experience in life.

There are so many theories to explain reality, especially interesting in the field of physics, but we as people often create our own theories and ways of understanding reality. Sometimes we try to adhere to single solid “facts” to explain our reality, and ourselves, and although there is truth in the foundation of our theory, there is also illusion as we try to describe that which is both non-verbal and infinite in its totality. We construct concepts and ideas to explain reality in pieces, explain the gaps in understanding, and these constructs may be true in that we then perceive reality in this way, it limits us from experiencing reality at its fullest potential. Our perceptions build our experience of reality. We can expand our perceptions, beliefs, and thus experiences of reality, starting by opening our mind. If you ever had a lucid dream, or out-of-body experience, you may have felt how real that dream world is, in that moment it can be as real as the physical world. When everything is perceived and experienced from the mind to begin with, then what dictates what is real and what is not? Or, what is more real, or truer to reality?

I have also been expanding my knowledge and understanding by changing my way of thinking. We don’t have to change ourselves to get to a better place in our mind, but we change our thinking patterns. I could see where I held one belief in the past, thinking that because it was true then it will always be true. This would frighten me when it came to addiction, I would get myself stuck in this experience by certain ways of thinking at the time, and certain beliefs. I began to believe I could only feel OK with the assistance of substances, because I experienced this and it was true in certain moments, but only in those moments where I needed to have that experience, it was, nor ever will be, the entire truth, and I understand that now. I leave this fear and reconnect with the times I was liberated in recovery and experienced a sense of bliss, I can stay with this truth. I open myself to multiple truths and ways of understanding, multiple pathways and possibilities. Just because I had one experience that led me to see a correlation between two or more factors does not mean this is the entire truth, not in a universe of infinite possibilities. There is so much more to reality than we limited ourselves to believe, and thus to experience.

It reminds me of DBT and cognitive distortions but with a spiritual touch. For example, having had experiences of intense feeling or sensation, or urge, that led me relapse. On the other hand, an intense sensation or thought that led me to flush my drugs and run to the hospital. For one, I realize this force in the universe that guides and drives us to experience what we need, that comes from multitude of places altogether, but we can trust that despite what happened we weren’t led astray. We had the experiences we came for, for many reasons, some that we can figure out and others beyond our understanding. Second, these sensations, sometimes as thoughts or feelings, or certain force of the universe, brings awareness to something that we are ready to look at. Whether it be to learn from and understand, to grow from, or to be aware and alter our course, in actions or how we think, these are only some possible reasons… but we sometimes experience an exaggeration in something to grab our attention and awareness, for some purpose. Such is our intuition, and we may be guided in such a way if we relax and stay aware, knowing there are multiple truths. I do not need to fear or catastrophize, and by awareness we can help change the way we think and respond to thoughts and sensations.

Staying open to multiple truths, pathways, and possibilities, we are free to move forward without limitation to experience that which is best for us, bringing us the joy we deserve. Aware that we were never right or wrong, but expanding upon what was while learning new truths, we can move forward with the wisdom and openness to experience joy and freedom, and whatever we are guided to explore. There is always far more to this existence and the universe than we previously knew, and we can remain open to exploring this with open minds and open in our beliefs.