The Light Within

Not long ago, I came to realize something on a whole new level that brought so much contentment back into my life. It’s something I had heard many times and knew well, but there comes a time when we open the doors to understanding with greater clarity and perspective that can bring changes to our lives. For me, this was realizing the Divine perfection that we are as people. I always write that we are Divine infinite beings, full of light and power within, but to truly understand what this means and where it comes from… I realized I have spent so much time trying to change myself, or spiritually reach some “higher” level of enlightenment or awakening that many of us do, when really the truth is right in front of us (and within us). What many of us are trying to attain is something that we already eternally are, we are “awake” and “enlightened” Divine beings, and our consciousness works at so many levels already that we do not need to climb to higher or greater depths because life’s journey brings us there already… the point is, we came to incarnate on this planet for the reason of being human, and everything that entails. Our power and light comes from our humanity, from our authentic true selves, who we already are within. We do not need to strive to become the enlightened being that we already are, here and on “the other side.” The reasons we came into this life’s journey in this physical body can be so much more.

Many institutions teach us that we are imperfect, that we are born as sinners, or we are told there is something wrong with us. We spend time looking for problems to solve within ourselves and the world. There is nothing wrong with striving for better, that is part of the point to life’s journey, but a time came when my initial attitude and standpoint wasn’t right for me anymore. I began to see myself as the light that I am, focusing on what I found within that by nature is good, and comes from love… this became the start of a new journey of self discovery, and in turn, became the point from which I now stand through all my experiences, from which I resonate and respond to my world. It was finding and becoming my true self in a whole new way.

Oftentimes, as was true for myself, there needs to be a healing process in order to find that truth and love within, but the healing and the learning is all part of the journey. The power is within us to make life what it should be, and it became such the more I was able to express and live in accordance with my own authenticity. I began learning to live life by following my own truth using my intuition… I could feel what is right for me, and what is not, as I kept my faith and stayed with God. I began to feel this light and guidance happening within me, and realized that this came from God, having begun to free myself enough to feel His guiding light within.

Life does not need to be a journey of “fixing” and changing oneself that begins from a perspective that says we are “bad” or need to be corrected (in this sense), but instead it can become a journey of finding one’s own truth, and that truth begins to unfold on the journey of discovering one’s authentic self deep within. As I began soul searching and finding myself, I found a deep connection to God and the source of my light, and it is pure and good (to say the least). From this starting point, we can begin by seeing the perfection in our imperfections and celebrating them all, because our humanity is what guides our path and gives meaning and purpose to our lives. This experience unraveled a path for myself with a whole new focus.

When I made this discovery for myself, it changed the whole idea and purpose of my spiritual path, starting from the initial standpoint (which was in fact myself). The point is not to stop progressing or working to improve oneself or strive for better, but it is changing the way in which we do so by what exactly we are working to “change.” For myself, the change was finding who I am underneath the masks I wore, and the roles I played in the material world. I let go of my guards and my fears, even fears I had of myself and my true nature, realizing their falsehoods. When I shifted my focus from trying to change myself to finding my authentic self deep within, I moved from a process of trying to self-perfect into a process of self discovery, acceptance and self-love, and bringing this person whom I uncovered into the world. This experience has been a journey in itself, because a lot of healing and learning had to take place along the way… this was necessary to find my authenticity and begin loving the person I am. In doing so, I could begin to change the expression of who I am, in the world and within ourself… as it starts from within.

Most important was discovering how the light and power of God that we often search for in our spiritual journeys comes from our humanity in itself, by just being ourselves and being human (we already are so much more on many levels beyond the physical). It comes from who we are, here and now, and how we express ourselves in the world. I strive to bring my authentic self into the world, carrying with me only the truth I uncover from within, and the love that comes with it. This expression of self is how I live in the world, and what I bring to others. This is how I change myself, and the way in which I strive to better myself and my life.

It is important to remember though, that we are here for the reasons that only we can truly know for our own self, it is unique to each of us. Our path in life is our own, as is the truth we know inside us, and we must live by this. As I mentioned, I spent a lot of time finding my own truth, stripping away layers of conditioning, false ideas, perceptions and superstitions, and the stories I was taught, or constructed, about myself or the universe, until I could finally find myself. Much of this was work within the mind, but even more importantly was the work to reconnect with myself by feeling and emotions. It was simply to relax into the person I am underneath it all. I began bringing my focus into my heart, where I could experience my inner true self by literally feeling her presence and awareness within. The more we strip away the falsehoods and learn that what’s underneath is good by nature and intent, we can see for ourselves how everything is love, from within to the world. By finally beginning to find the love for myself where I could feel it within, I could connect to my light, my true self, and the connection to God that comes from inside.

As I began bringing this inner light into the world, the outer reality began to change and match that internal lamp. The outer world we live in is a reflection of ourselves, which we can use as a tool for learning self-awareness, but also a tool for change. Our reality and our lives can change as we start to change from within, and it is never to late to do so.

Upon such realizations, I could relax knowing that I don’t need to strive to change myself (not in the way I had thought), I only had to find my true self from deep within and realize that THAT eternal, infinite being is already the perfection I was seeking, as it can be for all. Instead of spending all my time seeing what is wrong or trying to change from the outside in, I can spend time embracing myself and what is RIGHT, starting from the light within. With all this new freedom and time, I can discover what it really means to be myself in the world.